One of the most memorable parts of a wedding day – for better or worse! – can be the speeches. As a planner specialising in elegant marquee weddings across the English countryside, I’ve seen my fair share of them over the years. From the heartfelt to the hilarious (and occasionally the downright awkward), a well-delivered speech can truly elevate the celebration and create a lasting impression.
Whether you’re the proud Father of the Bride, a nervous Best Man, or a Maid of Honour with a message to share, here are my tried-and-tested top tips to help you navigate your moment in the spotlight with grace and confidence.
Jonny Gouldstone Photography
Know How Long You’re Speaking For
This is the golden rule: keep it under seven minutes. Less is often more. It’s easy to get carried away when you’re reminiscing about fond memories or sharing stories, but trust me, speeches that go on too long can lose the room. Aim for around five minutes and rehearse with a timer – it’ll help you stay within your limit while sounding polished and natural.
Follow the Traditional Order
If you’re unsure who says what, there’s a well-established protocol – especially for more traditional English weddings. The Father of the Bride speaks first, welcoming guests and toasting the newlyweds. The Groom (and sometimes the Bride too) then responds, thanking guests, family, and the wedding party. The Best Man follows, typically thanking the bridesmaids on behalf of the couple and giving a response on behalf of the bridesmaids – but traditionally, he doesn’t offer a separate toast. That said, some like to close with a toast to the future, which can be a lovely touch.
Keep It Classy
Humour can be wonderful, but I always advise steering clear of anything crude or crass. Remember – you’ll likely be speaking to grandparents, younger cousins, work colleagues and lifelong friends all in the same room. It’s not the moment for stag do stories or questionable jokes. If in doubt, leave it out.
Matt Fox Photography
Speak Slowly and Clearly
If you’re using a microphone (and you often will be in a marquee), practise with it beforehand if you can. Speak more slowly than feels natural – nerves can speed us up without realising. Pause between thoughts, make eye contact with your audience, and don’t be afraid of a moment’s silence. It gives your words time to land.
Avoid Copying Lines From the Internet
I know it’s tempting when you’re staring at a blank page, but please resist the urge to lift quotes or gags from the internet. Not only do these often fall flat, but they lack the personal touch that makes a wedding speech so special. Your words don’t need to be perfect – they just need to be yours.
Speak from the Heart
At the end of the day, this moment is about the couple. If you focus on them – their love story, their friendship, what makes them so brilliant together – you can’t go far wrong. Don’t worry if you’re not naturally funny or a confident speaker. Sincerity shines far brighter than showmanship.
Michael Liedtke Photography
So take a deep breath, raise your glass, and enjoy the moment. It’s a rare honour to be asked to speak on someone’s wedding day – one that’s remembered long after the last dance.